Saturday, January 24, 2015

Glimpses of Eternity

Today I want to share with you the longing that is in my heart. Quite recently I have felt a tug towards life, a nudge, or a pull towards something greater; greater than the everyday routine.  I have hungered for adventure, freedom, and intimacy. I have desired to see sunsets and pale moons. I have yearned for breath taking sceneries and for someone to share this beauty with. A friend, a lover; a person dear to my heart.

Last night as I was leaving work I got into my car and began to drive off. As I drove away from the building I was hit with a sharp pain in my chest. I noticed right away that it was coming from an emotion and not from a physical problem. I sensed loneliness, boredom, and complacency. When did I become this way I asked myself. It is like if time has created a void. Because of this void I have entertained ideas simply to avoid feelings of contempt. For example I have entertained men who do not deserve my attention and I have amused employers through long and unpaid hours of work. I have entertained the idea of forming a family in order to feel the love of others rather than forming a family to add to what is already beautiful. I have delighted everything that momentarily satisfies. Yet, I have not delighted in the things that last. The things that mirror the values I hold dear to my heart.
There’s a song by Pricilla Ahn called Dream. The song goes like this:

I was a little girl
Alone in my little world
Who dreamed of a little home for me.
I played pretend between the trees,
And fed my houseguests bark and leaves,
And laughed in my pretty bed of green.

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest swing.
I had a dream.

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park,
I asked God who I'm supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.

I had a dream
That I could fly
From the highest tree.
I had a dream.

Now I'm old and feeling grey.
I don't know what's left to say
About this life I'm willing to leave.
I lived it full and I lived it well,
There's many tales I've lived to tell.
I'm ready now,
I'm ready now,
I'm ready now
To fly from the highest wing.

As I listened to the words of this song I realized that even in the midst of finding what rings true to my values, it is still possible that I always will hunger. It is a fact that I will always yearn until I am ready to meet my creator. However, the things on earth that make me smile and the things that bring me peace and joy are found in righteousness and in truth. The matter is clear. I will always desire eternity. Until I meet my maker I will continue to thirst and hunger for forever. Forever will come. But, for now I will resolve to glimpses of heaven. Glimpses of eternity found in His word. Glimpses found in the values that I hold dear to. I will search for traces of forever in the things that resemble His bountiful love.
I leave you with this:

Philippians 4:8 “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”